JANUARY 5, 2016
In case you missed it, the nutrition-conscious folks over at the FDA have proven themselves to have a pretty whacked-out definition of the word "healthy." Case in point: The agency attacked Kind bars—a snack made mostly of good-for-you nuts, seeds, and dried fruit—for using the claim when it technically shouldn't have.
Because believe it or not, any food that packs more than 5 grams of fat and 2 grams of saturated fat cannot, by law, call itself healthy. So, according to the government, Kind bars are out. Almond butter and olive oil are out. Even avocados and salmon, which are widely considered to be two of the healthiest foods you can possibly eat, are out.
It's so insane that Kind decided to fight back by issuing a petition calling for the FDA to pull its definition of healthy out of the 1980s and into the 21st century.
Hopefully it works, but until then, we're stuck with some pretty weird healthy—by government standards—foods. Take a look at this list. (And no, there isn't something wrong with your monitor.)
1. Frosted Breakfast Pastries
Think a pastry made with refined flour, filled with neon colored goo, and topped with icing and sprinkles is the stuff that healthy breakfasts are made of? So does the FDA. At just 190 empty calories, 5 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, and more than 4 teaspoons of sugar, these babies are clearly a health nut's dream.
Related: Garden Salads For Breakfast (Yup!)
2. Sugar-Free, Fat-Free Chocolate Pudding
PHOTOGRAPH BY PIONEER111/GETTY
Who cares if it's made of modified cornstarch, maltodextrin, and aspartame? This delectable dessert has zero grams of fat and saturated fat and only 13 percent of your daily sodium. Eat it for a treat—or heck, maybe you should have it instead of that fat-laden salmon for dinner.
3. Sugary Breakfast Cereals
PHOTOGRAPH BY BHOFACK2/GETTY
You should probably start your day with a bowl of refined flour–based loops or flakes that pack 10 grams or more of sugar per serving. Because they're really low in fat and sodium and are fortified with nutrients—like calcium, iron, and vitamin C—that you could never find in real food.
Related: The Ten Best Organic Cereals
4. Frozen Bagels
At 230 calories of purely empty carbs, this is about as wholesome as you can get. Just don't ruin the thing by slathering on any fatty peanut butter or almond butter so you actually stay full for more than five minutes. Because then it won't be healthy anymore.
5. Fat-Free Strawberry Milk
PHOTOGRAPH BY FIRDA BEKA/GETTY
Whole milk packs 8 grams of fat and 5 grams of saturated fat per 8-ounce glass, so it's clearly not healthy. But fat-free strawberry milk, which delivers 5 teaspoons of sugar per serving, totally is. FDA, you're blowing our minds.
6. Chewy Fruit Snacks
PHOTOGRAPH BY BHOFACK2/GETTY
Leathers, gummies, you name it. As long as they contain at least 10 percent of your daily vitamin C, these babies are healthy. The fact that they also contain nearly 2 teaspoons of sugar per serving along with a generous dose of artificial colors? Irrelevant. So you definitely shouldn't feel bad about picking these over actual fruit.
This article originally appeared on Eat Clean.
Originally Posted: Rodale's Organic Life